Suddenly popped into my mind as in all of a sudden. I know i shouldn't be writing all these just to prove something, b'coz i don't wanna prove anything right now it's all over between us..then why come up with such a blog? Well, this is what i feel like doing not that i'm wanting my feelings for him to come back*yah im trying okay!*How do i get this started?

I was browsing my journal and there came a few stuffs bout him, my so called "X", i love making memories and damned if one of the few memories i was making is some text msgs coming from him. Yep, i got that all piled up for a month until i got really lazy to write. Those contained really "KILIGZ" but you know when it's in text, you hardly find a way to believe them especially when there's some text content you find worth-believing. My eyes went dull reading msgs such as "i love u baby ko" and alot more which i don't feel like typing in because i know it's gonna hurt me more *the fact, im already in the edge of getting over him COMPLETELY". Reminiscing all those times, i thought that no matter what will happen, we'll remain BEST FRIENDS just as he had promised but like i always say PROMISES ARE MADE TO BE BROKEN considering all his txtmsgs. I couldn't believe my eyes while reading down those, it's as if i never even felt the need of wanting him so badly. After all the exchanges of harsh words, bad mouthing, and the like.. that's when i began to know the real "BABY" i once tried to figure out, the real guy i've always been wanting to call "BABY" and lastly the guy i thought i'd last long with. Just too bad for the both of us, we couldn't stay as longer than 3 months. I wasn't pretentious at all, don't know with him. All i know, i once loved a guy who i never thought would ever ever lay a single "bad-mouth" words on me but eventually he did. I haven't moved on with that as of now, not my life but for all the things he said. The most hurtful words he told me was that he regretted knowing me and being serious and that i deserve all the bad words and started bad-mouthing me. Uhm..those are still formed in my mind and his tongue was the dangerous and powerful weapon he could ever strike me with *deep huh?* Until now, i just don't know how could he tell me we're good friends if it sounded more of like best enimies. Hmm.. c'est la vie as always.. i did some sacrifices for love but these sacrifices aren't just enough to prove the one i have loved something.Couldnt blame his mind somehow kasi it's thrice mature as mine and yea he's going to be 19 and i'm just 16..take note college fresman with a college junior.. there's a wide gap..

As far as i know, i never attempted to fool around or made loko to him in a way that i would make him a toy or something. These are consequences i once faced and proud to say, i don't want to make the same stupid mistake all over again. I'm glad I met my "X" *even if i'm trying to be funny* because of him i'm stronger now and because of him, i know i won't be making dummies or a fool out of myself. Even if we're at bad terms, I'll still be a friend to him because those 3 months taught me alot... from moving on, holding back and an effort to stand up and love again. If ever you're reading this, it's not on purpose to be showy but here's what i have to say..kasi you never even tried to listen to me when i wanted to make my mistakes right instead you let your anger overcome you first but i don't blame you for that. Thank you so much!! It ain't enough but if only you know how happy i'd been especially the tough times you stood on my side. Just hopin' he'd stay the same and the way he treated me when it was "US", hoping in the future, he'll treat his girls much more careful and ofcourse, care to make a well choice someday..y'know!